8th on the 8th

1) Sick of it.
2) Super Bowl
3) My dream last night

I'm so sick of being fat. 177 this morning on my scale. 180 yesterday at the gym. Yes, I said it... the gym. Doing it on my own isn't working. So I got a pass to the 24 Hour Fitness that happens to be right across the street from my office. Why I haven't been there all along just floors me. I've really let myself go. I made all that progress and I let one setback screw it all up. Albeit, it was a MAJOR setback... but STILL! I'm better than that. So I'm going to the gym now. I spilled all my secrets to my exercise buddy the other day on the track. I was having a really hard day. So lets see if she continues to exercise with me.

Super Bowl was good. It was just J and I at Dave and Busters. I expected a Super Bowl party. What I got was their normal bar activity. It was bad on their part. Don't get me wrong. I had fun because I was with J. But if I were D&B corporate, I would have been pissed and that store's promotions manager would have been called to the mat. To have NOTHING going on over Super Bowl. They had 1 beer special and no food specials. No games. No party favors. Bleh...

I had this freaky dream last night. I found P&K's house. Oddly, they were still in TX about to move, but their so was 8 or 9 y/o and H was 5. Anyway, K was cool as heck... big hugs... happy to see me. P wouldn't look at me. She was holding H and just up from a nap. She was guarding H like I was going to take her. Just like in the hospital, H wouldn't look at me either. H didn't look at me. It's like she knew that her real mommy was P. And she did look at P when they visited... and whenever I saw them together. So anyway, it was weird. Not so much upsetting... but weird. Their son was really friendly too in the dream. What a dream to have on my 8th anniversary. Yes, its my 8th on the 8th. And its FAT TUESDAY! Too cool. Of course, I'm done being fat. I'm ready to get back to the fit and happy me... the pre-H me. It's time to stop hiding under my fat and live my life. I'm not a shy person, but I've been acting that way because I'm uncomfortable with myself.

Ok... time to go. 6 mins to get ready and get gone.

2005-02-08 @ 7:44 a.m.
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